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Networking Pitfalls- Falling for the Wrong People

Over the past 10 – 15 years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of people actively focusing on networking. Increasing competition, along with more widespread attention on building a strong network, is encouraging lawyers to flock to networking functions in droves. However, this can be an especially difficult challenge for an attorney to simultaneously balance the billable hour with a devotion to developing a book of business. 

To help drive your efficiencies with networking, I’ve categorized business networkers into three groups. In addition to identifying which group you might belong to, it’s important to quickly identify which group others fit into as well. Detecting which group the person you’re speaking with falls into can make or break your results when networking.

Networker Type 1: The Taker 

A “Taker” is an individual who attends numerous events and racks up an imposing collection of names and business cards as a way to push appointments and close sales. Unfortunately, these sometimes-aggressive creatures can burn enough people that word “gets around” and ultimately helps to dissolve their reputations. You may even start to observe people physically positioning themselves away from a Taker at consecutive events. Although avoidance seems an appropriate strategy, the Taker should not be dismissed outright. For some people, simply obtaining new sales (however generated) is and always will be their focus. 

Perhaps a compassionate view toward seemingly aggressive Takers is the best way to view them. After all, many entrepreneurs require sales quotas of their employees to retain their jobs as a strategy to keep the business viable. Some Takers simply haven’t been taught the art of networking, or are confused on how best to utilize networking in order to achieve long-term results. 

That being said, if you can detect a Taker early on at an event, try to avoid the next step: the one-on-one meeting. This is where you schedule a time to meet for coffee or lunch after the initial networking event where you met with a potential business connection. If you find yourself inadvertently ensnared in a meeting with a Taker, this meeting can make for a rough few hours consisting of a sales pitch for the Taker’s product or service, whether you have a need for it or not. It could also turn into a “name grab” by the new acquaintance for the names of your contacts so that he or she can make a sales pitch to them. Run, don’t walk to the nearest exit. We’ve all been there and it’s not fun.

Networker Type 2: The Apparent Giver

The Apparent Giver is the most common networker type. Apparent Givers are those people who, sometime during their careers, have heard and taken very much to heart the concept that “givers gain” or “give to get” as a mantra relating to networking. They believe they understand how to network and think of themselves as major players in the networking game, but often they miss the boat on the important component of follow-through.

Where Apparent Givers stumble is in failing to execute the promises they’ve made to new contacts in an effort to gain their trust. While an Apparent Giver may actually have altruistic intentions in the beginning, promises are worthless if the networker doesn’t follow up and carry out the pledge made to the new contact. Some Apparent Givers become too distracted by other commitments and simply forget to act on their earlier promises. Some with less philanthropic motives may drop the ball when they realize the new contact may not be able to immediately reciprocate. For most people in this age of information overload, if something isn’t scheduled and written down, it probably won’t happen. 

The most obvious downside to turning into an Apparent Giver is that failure to follow through will tarnish your reputation if you come to be viewed as someone who doesn’t act on a pledge to a new contact. On the receiving end of the networking exchange, Apparent Givers present a distraction from your ultimate goal of disqualifying this contact type as a potential strategic partner due to empty promises. 

Networker Type 3: The True Giver

The ultimate networking aspiration is to become a True Giver and to seek to interact with others of this type. True Givers understand the “big picture” when it comes to networking. This networker’s mantra is “I’ll give selflessly, regardless of what’s in it for me personally.” 

As a busy attorney, you’re probably concerned with the amount of time it would take to help everyone you encounter. Even if you had only five short coffee meetings in a month, it might be problematic to then make one quality introduction for each. That’s why being a True Giver has to be balanced with a deliberate process. 

First and foremost, remember that you don’t have to meet with everyone you encounter at a networking event. Try to qualify the best people for you to meet and possibly refer to another connection and then focus in on quality connections. 

Second, don’t feel obligated to promise referrals for every person you meet. Not everyone is worthy of your “endorsement” by way of an introduction to another one of the contacts you’ve nurtured. It’s fairly easy to disqualify Takers and industry non-experts as people not to make pledges to or introduce to others. 

Finally, while of course the Golden Rule tells us we should be nice to everyone, you should focus your networking energy on helping those people you identify as True Givers and those who appear to have the ability to be a strong strategic partner over the long haul. If time is money, then let’s invest time, energy and referrals on the true givers with whom we can have a long-term reciprocal relationship.

Copyright @ 2018 Sales Results, Inc.

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About this Author

Steve Fretzin, Sales Results Inc, Attorney Business Coach, Marketing, Illinois

Driven, focused and passionate about helping attorneys to reach their full potential, Steve Fretzin is regarded as the premier business coach, speaker and author on business development for attorneys.

In 1996, he was one of six passengers aboard a single-engine Cherokee Piper airplane that crash-landed into a house in suburban Crystal Lake, IL. The experience left him crippled for months, but more importantly taught him to value the sacredness of each day.  This led Fretzin to pursue his real passion; coaching and inspiring others to achieve...

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