Remember that no one’s life is perfect. And no one has it all together. No matter what it looks like on the outside. But we still have to soldier on every day.

Me public speaking - which I love to do!

You can’t tell from this photo taken at a speaking engagement, but I was dealing with a lot behind the scenes.

My significant other had recently left me for one of our mutual friends and I had to quickly find a new place to live. My job was in jeopardy because I was unable to focus due to the above, and I was grieving over the death of my mom from cancer BUT I still had commitments such as speaking engagements to fulfill.

The world doesn’t stop just because your life is falling apart.

So I put on my game face, and I did the best I could even though I was a mess inside.

I pulled it off for the most part and tried to compartmentalize things – if only for an hour here and there. Professional activities like this were in essence an escape.

They also helped me rebuild my confidence because at a time when I felt beat down in every way, doing something that I loved helped me to get back to the core of who I was as a person.

So my advice here is that even when things seem bleak, remember that you are not defined by that.

Find solace in the things that bring you joy and those at which you know you excel for a confidence boost.

Also be kind and assume good intent because you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes in someone’s life.

It may look like everything is just fine with someone when in fact underneath the surface they are falling apart.

Most of the time someone’s reaction to you has very little to do with you and everything to do with them, so don’t take things personally.

And as for yourself, be kinder to yourself too. We all have enough challenges without beating ourselves up unnecessarily.

And remember that it’s OK to not be OK sometimes.